Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People’
Initially published in 1955, with a reasonable print of five thousand copies, in 1936. Dale
Carnegie’s book has sold over forty five million copies worldwide, a far cry from the initial
moderate expectation. The message of the book hasn't altered over time even though it has
undergone several revisions since the death of the author in 1955. Dale Carnegie’s wife and
daughter needed to update examples given by the author about famous personalities in 1936.
Current counterparts were used in order to modernise the book.
From the very start Dale Carnegie uses his inspirational ability to influence others, by
recommending the way in which we read his book, entrusting us with 8 rules for getting the best out
of the book.
Have a great desire for learning and applying the principles that drive communications and
relationships between human beings.
1. Read every chapter twice before going on to the next one.
2. Interrupt our readings frequently to ask ourselves about our personal possibilities for
applying every principle.
3. Underline the important ideas.
4. Re-read the book every month.
5. Practice the principles whenever the opportunity presents itself.
6. Transform the book into a fun game: ask our friends to pay a penalty whenever they surprise
us by breaking the rules.
7. Monitor the progress that we make each week. Ask ourselves what mistakes we have made,
what progress we have made, what lessons we have learned.
Below is a detailed list of key points made throughout Dale Carnegie’s book ‘How to Win Friends
and Influence People” which impacted my life for the better:
Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six ways to Make People Like You
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in
any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatise your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your
approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
***
And so what is Dale Carnegie’s secret for success? In short his advice is to listen, learn about
others and what drives them. Although at times the book seems selfish, in that the advice given is to
make you successful, but truth be told it actually teaches that your success is influenced by your
ability to help others succeed. Be genuine, be sincere, actually care about those around you, life is
so much more enjoyable and rewarding if you have substance rather than superficiality. ~ Boyd Parker